Sometimes you have one of those funny conversations with a friend that leaves you wishing you had or could record it. I was talking to Christina, I called her for her birthday which is tomorrow, but given the fact that I am in a third world country and tomorrow there may be no internet or perhaps power even, I thought I should just do it today cuz I can. I try not to dominate the conversation but sometimes I just have stuff to say, and the other doesn't. So, I started out telling her how I almost burned the house with the gas geyser. A small wall unit water heater is called a geyser (not pronounced like that gushing water spout in Yellowstone Park but like the old guy down the street.) I was fortunate enough to actually have hot water here. I was very excited, and really needed a shower. So, I got up in the morning, leaving extra time for said shower, since, I am in a third world country and I know how these things go. So, the day before the guy showed me how to use it. He merely turned the water on, and it went on, turn the water off the geyser went off. So, I know from experience that past performance is not indicative of future results, so I turned it on to test it out before I got all excited and took off my clothes. FYI the temperature has dropped her so it is cold and there is no heat. It seemed to work fine so I shut it off, and went and got some clean clothes and took mine off. Turned it back on and it started to spew steam, and water, and brown water, so I shut the water off but the geyser didn't go off. I just started to get hotter and hotter, so I turned the water back on, and it spewed steam and crazy crap again. So I turned it off but again it didn't go off. I was starting to get nervous and there was a smell of heated plastic. So I put my clothes back on, and continued to turn the water on and off. Looked for an off button, maybe even an emergency switch. Looked at the gas canister for the nozzle to turn it off but there wasn't one I could identify. The canister was conveniently located right below geyser, which was now heating up and smoking. I went to the hall to see if my upstairs neighbors could be spotted but went back in to monitor geyser. Finally got so nervous I started to go upstairs when a young man came down and I am speaking gibberish I am sure – the geyser, can't turn off, heating up. He came in and poked around and managed to find the turn off on the gas canister and maybe some other buttons. I am not sure he spoke English but was helpful as I stood in my western pajamas of knee length bag shorts and t−shirt. I think this was not appropriate attire for a fire since they, he and his mother, seemed to be averting their eyes. The woman about my age with plenty'o kids told me in spotty English that it was dangerous like somehow I only thought my smoking gas geyser was inconvenient and I exclaimed "I know, I know". They left without fanfare and I was left with a smokey wall and the smell of burnt plastic.
Okay so that wasn't even the funny part of the conversation. My disclaimer is that I was over tired from adjusting to another new country, and hopped up on inhaler for my asthma. So I was describing the apartment to her. The bedrooms are clean because no one uses them but the living room area is apparently a lounge for I am not sure who so that the couch is filthy and there are boogers on the wall above it. Christina is her innocence says something about no tissue handy and I was thinking, it's a third world country these people don't carry tissues but instead out comes "just eat it for godsakes. It's just boogers." It's a third world country; this place is filthy. These people are horking up lougies and wiping their asses with their hands and don't believe in soap. What the hell is a little booger? Well, with keeping with the third world−ness, they were right in it when they smeared the boogers on the wall above the couch, it's just a little booger. It does sort of match the "muddy" finger prints on the wall. (Where did they get the "mud"?) Anyway my little comment about just eat it had me in hysterics because although this thought did not go through the appropriate sensors it was that truth that is so deeply buried that we are not even aware of it until we are exhausted and it comes tumbling out. In a country like this what is a little booger but perhaps a nice snack.