Sometimes life is so bizarre that you wonder have to look around and wonder if you have fallen into a Television series. Let me relate real situations here in India.
First scenario: I was delighted to find ice cream shops here in Fort Cochin. I walk in and ask what flavors they have since there is no glass case for pointing nor list displayed. The clerk who is probably the owner asks what flavor I want so I tell him mint chocolate chip suspecting that I myself am on crack for even uttering this exotic flavor in this exotic land. He says they don't have it and tells me the flavors. I try something with cashews in it. A few days later I walk into the same shop with the same man and I ask what flavors he has. Again he asks what I want and again I ask for mint. This time however without hesitation he launches into the list and I pick a strange but fruity sounding ice cream that tastes a bit like black cherry.
Second scenario: I go into a restaurant which I was in the day before. Ask to see the menu. I ask if they have everything and he tells me to ask him and he will tell me if it is available. So I ask for peas marsala which I think I see someone eating. The guy says peas marsala or vegetable korma. I say whatever since I think this is his way of saying no peas marsala. Then I think I am suppose to order some type of naan like thing to go with it, so I ask which they have and again he says ask me and I will tell you if it is available. So I point at one on the menu. I am told they don't have it. So I ask what I should get to go with it. And he says ask and he will tell me if they have it. By this point I am about to choke the fat whisky smelling flirting old guy. "Well, what should I get," I snarl. And he spews this list of which I only recognize two items one of which is exactly like flour tortillas so I get the other one. He is really interested in my order and wants to rehash the whole thing but I shooed him away with that's fine just bring me anything.
I thought the first one was some strange anomaly with the ice cream shop but I have come to believe it is some weird India thing because I have had other similar experiences. I am sure for the locals they know exactly what they will be serving at what time of the day but for me it is all a mystery, one which will remain so.
Off topic but a funny little moment… the fat stinky old waiter is telling me my bill is 38rupees (about $1) while moving his eyes and eyebrows in this presumably sexy manner. I look him dead in the eye unsmiling. We are the same height. I hand him the money looking away. He gets flustered and isn't sure if he should hand me the change which he wants to do so he can possibly touch me or if he should put it in the ticket tray. He opts for the ticket tray. A wise choice since I was going to make him put on the counter so I could pick it up.